Anyone in public life who comes out, comes out primarily for themselves, and their life is immediately improved. That’s what happened to me. My relationships with my family immediately got better. The world [became] a slightly better place.

I feel sorry for anyone who feels the need to lie about themselves. That’s not good for you.

It doesn’t lead to a happy life.

And I’ve never met a gay person who came out and who regretted it. Never. So, my advice to anyone in the closet — it doesn’t matter whether they’re a teacher, or a politician, or a priest, or an actor — come out. Join the human race.

Coming out is the most political thing you can do.

It’s weird because here I am, an actress, representing—at least in some sense—an industry that places crushing standards on all of us. Not just young people, but everyone. Standards of beauty. Of a good life. Of success. Standards that, I hate to admit, have affected me. You have ideas planted in your head, thoughts you never had before, that tell you how you have to act, how you have to dress and who you have to be. I have been trying to push back, to be authentic, to follow my heart, but it can be hard.

I’m here today because I am gay. And because… maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility.

I also do it selfishly, because I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I’m standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain.

Ellen Page, February 14th 2014

Being openly gay has always been pretty easy for me. I came out in high school in an affluent suburb of Boston, where attitudes toward gays were fairly positive and upscale New England standards of decorum stopped people from expressing negative ones to my face. Then I went to Harvard, where being gay is practically encouraged.

As far as I can tell, being open about my sexuality has never caused me any professional hardship — not when I was a banker, not when I worked for conservative think tanks, and certainly not now that I work in an industry that’s more or less run by the gays. And if being openly gay has been a silent hardship — if there’s some job I would have been offered or some piece that would have been commissioned but for my sexuality — then I’ve enjoyed enough offsetting advantages to easily survive that problem.

I have friends and family who love and support me for who I am.

And if some hater messages me on Facebook to ask questions like “What do you and your male partner do during sex?” and ”For instance, when someone looks at your photo and imagines a man’s penis in your mouth. Does that not embarrass you?”, why shouldn’t I just answer him forthrightly and unashamedly?

The only reason these emailers make me angry is that I think about how their insults affect other people. I’m too arrogant for self-loathing, but that’s not true of everyone. A lot of gay people still live in communities where these hateful attitudes are dominant. A lot of gay children and teenagers are at the mercy of parents, teachers and clergy who hold bigoted views.

Being open and unashamed about being gay is just one small thing I can do to change the culture and make life easier for people who haven’t had my luck.

And that’s why I’m mystified by prominent gay people in business and media and Hollywood who choose to be in the closet. They have the ability to help lots of people who don’t have their advantages, and they’re selfishly passing on it under the guise of “privacy.” Often, they do this while living quite gaily in places like New York and Los Angeles and reaping the benefits of social acceptance in their non-professional lives.

Imagine, for example, that you were a prominent daytime news anchor on a national cable news channel aimed at a conservative audience, and you were gay. You would have the potential, by coming out of the closet, to change millions’ of viewers perspective on gay people for the better. You’d make it easier for your closeted gay viewers to love themselves, and easier for your viewers’ gay children to come out.

Or you could live a fabulous gay life with your boyfriend in New York City while staying closeted to the national audience. Wouldn’t that be a pretty decadent choice?

And that’s why I think the condolence emails from my readers are off base. Treating nasty reader emails as a real hardship to me lets me off the hook. If I let those messages cow me, I’d be doing a disservice not just to myself but to others. So I don’t. And other people shouldn’t either.

- Josh Barro

Tags: lgbt

savageblackout:

October 5, 2013 marks a new adventure in life and a new anniversary to celebrate! Special thanks to Reverend Connie for officiating and to our dear friend, Kelly for acting as the photographer/witness. Also special thanks to Geri Cole for making possible this wonderful life I share with Jasika, and shout out to my sister, Emily, for riding rickety bikes with me one night in Brooklyn to find this woman- I found her! 

Reblogged from savage blackout

"I know with all certainty in my mind that there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And you know it! There’s nothing wrong with being into chicks if you’re a girl. And there’s nothing wrong with being into all of it." - Henry Rollins.

"When you’re gay, you monitor everything you do. How you dress, how you talk, how you act. ‘Do they see me? What do they think of me?’"

To be able to blend. That’s what realness is.

If you can pass the untrained eye, or even the trained eye, and not give away the fact that you’re gay, that’s when it’s real.

The idea of realness is to look as much as possible like your straight counterpart.

The realer you look means you look like a real woman. Or you look like a real man. A straight man.

It’s not a takeoff, or a satire. No. It’s actually being able to be this.

Pepper LaBeija, “Paris is Burning”

 

If you want to know what it means to be a gay person in this world,  you should watch ‘Paris is Burning’. If you want to know that what you are feeling right now is universal and timeless, you should watch it.

Reblogged from ϟ wickednes ϟ
Reblogged from Complicated
it will not be simple. it will take all your heart. 

it will not be simple. it will take all your heart. 

Two women together is a work nothing in civilization has made simple.
— Adrienne Rich (via ashleyinguanta)
Reblogged from sneaky gaze

Your character on the show is openly gay, you’re openly gay in real life. You’ve always been kind of comfortable in your own skin. How is that? (x)

Reblogged from sneaky gaze
themaskedgorilla2:

Frank Ocean Discusses Coming Out Of The Closet
Since Frank Ocean unleashed that jaw dropping letter announcing that he was bi-sexual he has yet to really discuss it with anyone in the public eye. Today, that changed with a new article in ‘The Guardian’ where Frankie leaves no stone unturned. Check out what he had to say below.
“A lot of people have said that since that news came out. I suppose a percentage of that act was because of altruism; because I was thinking of how I wished at 13 or 14 there was somebody I looked up to who would have said something like that, who would have been transparent in that way. But there’s another side of it that’s just about my own sanity and my ability to feel like I’m living a life where I’m not just successful on paper, but sure that I’m happy when I wake up in the morning, and not with this freakin’ boulder on my chest. 
I knew that I was writing in a way that people would ask questions. I knew that my star was rising, and I knew that if I waited I would always have somebody that I respected be able to encourage me to wait longer, to not say it till who knows when. It was important for me to know that when I go out on the road and I do these things, that I’m looking at people who are applauding because of an appreciation for me. I don’t have many secrets, so if you know that, and you’re still applauding … it may be some sort of sick validation but it was important to me. When I heard people talking about certain, you know, ‘pronouns’ in the writing of the record, I just wanted to – like I said on the post – offer some clarity; clarify, before the fire got too wild and the conversation became too unfocused and murky. 
When you write a song like Forrest Gump, the subject can’t be androgynous. It requires an unnecessary amount of effort. I don’t fear anybody. So, to answer your question, yes, I could have easily changed the words. But for what? I just feel like it’s just another time now. I have no interest in contributing to that, especially with my art. It’s the one thing that I know will outlive me and outlive my feelings. It will outlive my depressive seasons.” – Frank Ocean

themaskedgorilla2:

Frank Ocean Discusses Coming Out Of The Closet

Since Frank Ocean unleashed that jaw dropping letter announcing that he was bi-sexual he has yet to really discuss it with anyone in the public eye. Today, that changed with a new article in ‘The Guardian’ where Frankie leaves no stone unturned. Check out what he had to say below.

“A lot of people have said that since that news came out. I suppose a percentage of that act was because of altruism; because I was thinking of how I wished at 13 or 14 there was somebody I looked up to who would have said something like that, who would have been transparent in that way. But there’s another side of it that’s just about my own sanity and my ability to feel like I’m living a life where I’m not just successful on paper, but sure that I’m happy when I wake up in the morning, and not with this freakin’ boulder on my chest. 

I knew that I was writing in a way that people would ask questions. I knew that my star was rising, and I knew that if I waited I would always have somebody that I respected be able to encourage me to wait longer, to not say it till who knows when. It was important for me to know that when I go out on the road and I do these things, that I’m looking at people who are applauding because of an appreciation for me. I don’t have many secrets, so if you know that, and you’re still applauding … it may be some sort of sick validation but it was important to me. When I heard people talking about certain, you know, ‘pronouns’ in the writing of the record, I just wanted to – like I said on the post – offer some clarity; clarify, before the fire got too wild and the conversation became too unfocused and murky. 

When you write a song like Forrest Gump, the subject can’t be androgynous. It requires an unnecessary amount of effort. I don’t fear anybody. So, to answer your question, yes, I could have easily changed the words. But for what? I just feel like it’s just another time now. I have no interest in contributing to that, especially with my art. It’s the one thing that I know will outlive me and outlive my feelings. It will outlive my depressive seasons.” – Frank Ocean

Reblogged from How to closetalk.
Reblogged from sneaky gaze